Day 252 - Year in Review

This has been a pretty big year for me...........

I started going back to church regularly in January!

I quit smoking in April!

I lost 15 pounds (then gained it all back when cycling season ended)!

I stopped speaking to my sister!

I managed to make it through several rounds of layoffs at work!

I stopped going to church regularly when summertime hit!

I flew to Dallas for 7 Rangers games with my family (the look on Jackson's face when we're there is just priceless)!

I made it to two OSU football games!

I refrained from killing my husband when OSU lost the Bedlam game!

I started going back to church again!

I started speaking to my sister again! =)

I lost a friend to cancer!

Indeed 2009 has proven to be an important year in my life. As always, I have had times when I've done nothing but whine about EVERYTHING going on in my life. But in the end, I can look back on this year and say that I've truly learned from my experiences. Considering everything that has happened this year, I can look at some situations and think "will this really matter in 10 minutes?" I am still a work in progress, as we all are, but at least there is progress. However small it may be, it is measurable, and that is what matters.

I'm not going to make a New Year's Resolution, because I think that's just cheesy sounding. But I will set goals for myself in the coming new year. Now that I have kicked the smoking habit, it's time for me to become serious about getting in better shape. I need to eat a little better and exercise a little more. When something comes up and I miss all of my scheduled workouts in one week, I need to jump right back in the next week rather than just throwing in the towel and giving up becuase I'm 'too busy'! My parents always told me that people make time for the things that are really important in their lives........and that's the truth.

What will be important in your life in 2010?

Here's to the new year!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 237 - Another angel has joined the kingdom of Heaven!

My friend, Stephanie Bradley, has joined the kingdom of heaven after a long and hard-fought battle with cancer. She was, and will continue to be, a wonderful spirit. I believe with all of my heart that God put her on this Earth to accomplish something. She apparently has fulfilled her duties and has been called home to Him. I'm not entirely certain what her purpose was in life, and I'm sure that we're not supposed to know....after all, that's what blind Faith is all about. But I do know what Stephanie meant to me:

She isn't the reason that I quit smoking, but she was my motivation. We found out that her oral cancer had metastasized to her lungs in April of this year, and my last cigarette was on April 24th. I had already made the decision to quit, but had not yet committed to a date or made a plan of how I was going to accomplish this goal. Once Stephanie heard that I had decided to quit, she reached out to me and offered her support. This is a woman who has never touched a single cigarette in her life, now suffering from cancer that has spread to her lungs, giving me encouragement! Wow!!! How could I continue to play Russian roulette with my health when Stephanie had done nothing to harm her body and was now suffering from such a horrible infliction? This was the turning point in my life where I decided that the addiction to cigarettes was not going to control me any longer. Thank you, Stephanie, for being a constant reminder and a source of encouragement during my journey to quit smoking.

Other than being a great friend and a source of joy, Stephanie also brought my relationship with God back into the forefront of my life. Watching the way that she and Warner handled the situation with which they were dealt made me realize that I wanted that same strength and peace in my own life. It was amazing to see them in action. Although I cannot imagine how hard it was for them to put a smile on their faces, they did it each and every day. I never once heard a single negative comment about their situation. I took a step back and looked at my own life and how I have a tendency to make the smallest thing into a major deal. Is this really who I want to be? The answer was no. I wondered how it was that these two were able to make it through these past 2 years without just completely falling apart at the seams. I mean, I can be brought to tears sometimes just by coming home from work and realizing that the sink is full of dishes and that I forgot to start the dishwasher the night before! That seems extremely petty when you’re constantly faced with the positive attitudes of close friends who are going through such an ordeal. I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point along the way, I realized that Warner and Stephanie had something that I didn’t at the time; an inner peace and otherworldly strength that can come from none other than a close personal relationship with Him. Once I had this epiphany, I made a vow to myself and my family that we would re-prioritize our lives around God and make Him the forefront of our daily lives. I wish I could say now that I have done this completely and without effort, but I can not. Often times the best and most rewarding things in life are not attained easily. But I can say this; I will strive each and every day to become a better person and servant of the Lord, and I have Stephanie Bradley to thank for that.

We will miss you dearly my friend, but I am comforted to know that you will no longer suffer as you have. You are now safe in His arms; rest in peace.

Here’s to constantly being a work in progress,

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 229 - When debate turns into a fight!

Anyone who knows me well knows that I really truy hate politics. I've never been one to sit down and debate the merits of this candidate versus that. I do my research at election time, make the best decision that I can given the choices, and then move on down the road.

I'm not saying that those who choose to engage in discussion over politics are somehow doing something wrong, I just don't enjoy it.

Why?

Because I have never seen a single political "discussion" that didn't turn into an all out brawl (unless you count the discussions I've witnessed between my husband and brother-in-law, but those don't count because they agree on most, not all, political and polarizing topics).

I don't agree with my husband on everything. We even disagree on a few very polarizing and important issues, but we've managed to be able to either work through a discussion, or leave that particular topic completely off limits.

I guess what I'm trying to get at people is that we can have healthy debate in this country without going at each others throats all the time. Why is our initial gut reaction always to lash out at someone who holds a different opinion than our own? I'm not saying that I'm perfect....far from it in fact. But when I see something that needs fixing, I try to fix it. And the nature of some "discussions" I have seen as of late need fixing. =)

Let's all start working towards being part of the solution rather than constantly contributing to the problem.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 228 - So ridiculous!!!

I just ran across the following article:

http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/34288353/ns/sports-golf/

I really wish I could have been looking in a mirror while I read this to see my changing facial expressions.

For example, this excerpt:

"Thankfully, Tiger, you didn't marry a black woman. Because if a sister caught you running around with a bunch of white hoochie-mamas," one parody suggests in song, she would have castrated him.

Seriously? We are all human beings! We don't react differently to situations based on the color of our skin! And the fact that they used the term 'hoochie-mamas' shows their level of intelligence.

Then some blogger stated that if Tiger had cheated on his white wife with a BLACK woman, that the whole situation would be "barely a blip in the blogosphere". WHAT? This has made major news because he's extremely famous and he cheated.....not because of WHO he cheated with.

Then a 26-year-old black woman from NYC said that she doesn't care that Tiger's wife and mistresses are white because he's "quote-unquote not really black". Just what is the definition of black anyway? And more importantly, why does it matter?

This same woman stated later in the article that she would have thought twice about voting for Barack Obama if he had been married to a white woman!! Really? Well it's nice to know that people are out there voting for the Presidency based on who is married to whom!!!

This article is a disgrace to the human race and frankly these people should be ashamed of themselves.

I really hope that one day we as a human race can rise above this, but unless something changes drastically, it won't happen.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 215 - Oh the things our children can teach us!

Sorry I haven't blogged in almost a month. Shame on me! I'm not going to type up a bunch of excuses here though.....just didn't get around to it.

Not a lot has happened since I last blogged. I've been out of town for work twice (YUCK!) and accidentally sat at the bar where smoking was allowed in an Outback steakhouse at the airport in Cincinatti (open seating and everything else was full). It really was awesome to sit and smell everyone's nasty smokiness while trying to eat my dinner. Even when I was a smoker I didn't appreciate others smoking while I was tyring to eat. So gross!

Anyway, Jackson's behavior has been just terrible for the past few weeks. Probably because I was out of town and he's trying to punish me. It could also be because he hasn't been feeling well for a few days.

But even with all the crankiness and attitude problems, kids can still find time to teach their parents a few things.

On the way to work this morning, we drove past a construction site. The following is our conversation regarding said construction site:

Jackson: "Mommy, what is that?" (pointing to the construction site)

Me: "It's a construction site."

J: "What does it do?"

Me: "It doesn't do anything, but the tractors and big trucks dig up dirt and rock."

J: "Why?"

Me: "So they can build the foundation for the building that they're putting in."

J: "Oh, I remember, and Jesus is our foundation!"

Me: (slightly surprised as we have never really discussed this with him in detail) "Yes he is."

J: "So did God move all the rocks to build Jesus for us?"

Me: (smiling proudly at my 3 year old) "Yes he did."


This conversation opened my eyes again to the fact that if we put God first, He will make sure that everything else just falls into place. Life will still be hard, but we will have the ability to handle anything because of Him.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 186 - Halfway to a Year!

So day 182 was this past Friday, October 23. This day was significant for two reasons.

1) I took the Professional Engineers licensing exam in Edmond. I will find out in 12 weeks if I passed.

2) Marks 6 months of being smoke free.

When I left the testing site for lunch, I didn't realize it, but I had just reached a major milestone. Not in my profession, but in my personal life. 182.5 days is half of 365 days. So basically I've been smoke free for over half a year at this point.

I never would have thought it was possible, but I did it. It feels amazing!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 172 - Disgusting Display!

Well I just overheard a co-worker griping about his wife to another co-worker. There are two things wrong with what I just heard:

1) Never ever complain about your marriage to people at work. That's what friends are for. And I know this guy was not simply confiding in a friend, because he blabbed all this in the middle of a congregation of cubicles to at least two listeners (not to mention those who were unintended recipients such as I). I really do not need to know about the goings-on of everyone in my office.

2) The subject matter that he was complaining about just got my blood boiling. You see, he and his wife just had a baby about 3 weeks ago. He was back at work 4 days after the baby was born, which I thought was a little bit strange, but you know, I'm not going to judge. Well apparently he has to go out of town next week and his wife is upset about it. She is a stay-at-home first-time Mom and is mad that her husband has to leave. He told his "buddies" who sit near me that she started reading him the riot act when he informed her of the trip last night. He even used a high-pitched voice when describing the things that she said.

Let me just tell you something here mister! Your wife is on an emotional roller coaster from hell and doesn't know top from bottom right now. What she needs is support you moron!! Yes, you are right that she shouldn't be complaining about a business trip when you are the only one working and supplying money to pay the bills. But she is at home BY HERSELF raising your child. Does this not count for something? Instead of supporting her and loving her, you come to work and blab to everyone about how she "went psycho" on you last night. I'm sure she would be extremely pleased to hear that you did such a thing.

I am truly disgusted at how some men and women treat their spouses. Everyone has arguments and no marriage is perfect. But all disagreements stay at home! A marriage is a private sanctuary where one should feel safe and loved. It's not a discussion point over coffee and doughnuts at work.

Here's to my husband who makes me feel safe and loved.

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 168 - Columbus Day

Well Happy Thanksgiving to all you Canadians out there, eh!

I find it a bit comical that Canada's Thanksgiving holiday falls on the same day that the United States celebrates the founding of the Americas by Christopher Columbus. It made ME laugh anyway.

So I haven't updated in awhile, and for good reason. I was on vacation. I had 9 whole blissful days without work. It was wonderful. That being said, it does feel good to be back in the swing of things and into a "normal" routine. I am now convinced that even if I could be a stay-at-home Mom, I would most definitely have to do SOMETHING. Sitting around the house all day doing nothing but planning meals and vacuuming is not for me. I would definitely need a cause of some sort. But I'll stop blabbing on about that since it's not likely to become an issue anytime soon.

Well the PE is in 11 days. I have mixed emotions about this one. On one hand I am terrified and wish I had another month to prepare for the single most important test of my life. On the other hand I am so glad that it is close to being over so I can quit worrying about it. I mean, seriously, it's not life or death.....it's a test. At the end of the day, it's just a test. If I pass it the first time, then that's just great. If not, well the world is not likely to stop spinning on it's axis. I will just take it again (maybe).

My only problem now is going to be pushing through the next 11 days of studying without burning myself out.

Here's to passing this silly thing the first time!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 156 - Packing, Shopping, & More Packing

Let me start off by saying how excited I am that my little family of three has the opportunity to go on a week-long camping trip. My husband and I are both able to take vacation and we can afford the 5th wheel and the truck to haul it down the road, because lets face it.......that is how I camp. No tents and sleeping bags with 2 A.M. trips to the port-a-john....not happening. Call me spoiled if you must, but that is how I roll! (am I getting too old to use that phrase?)

Anywho, so now that all that "thankful" stuff is out of the way......on to the griping. You knew it was coming, right?

It is absolutely insane how much time it takes to get ready to go camping for a week. Especially if you are going to be 3 hours away from home and at least 1 hour from the nearest Wal-Mart. It's not like it's convenient to run up to the store when you realize that you forgot the mayonnaise. Without mayonnaise, our sandwiches and hamburgers would be ketchup and mustard only......I wouldn't be able to make my famous chicken salad and cracker lunch........and there would be no homemade ranch dressing. Now I don't know how things are at your house, but when we run out of homemake ranch dresing at my house........RED ALERT.....THE SHIP IS GOING DOWN!!!

And can you imagine running out of toilet paper in the middle of the night........

Me to Todd: "Honey, I need some toilet paper and we're out"

Todd: "Okay, let me get dressed and run to the store"

Me: "Right.......I guess I'll just sit here and wait on you.....FOR 2 FRIGGIN' HOURS!"

Okay, so now you can see how important it is to remember to pack EVERYTHING. Hence the existence of "The Spreadsheet". Yeah.....I said it.......I have a spreadsheet that contains a packing list for camping. Some people like to make fun of me for it........"Oh look at how anal she is with her dorky spreadsheet.........what a nerd!" Keep talking people.........because I'm going to be laughing my dry fanny off when you're hanging over the toilet to drip-dry for two hours while your hubby makes a 2-hour toilet paper run because you didn't use a list when you were packing.

So needless to say, this week has thus far been fairly busy making preparations for the trip. We did a much hated work night grocery trip last night. Tonight we plan to catch up on laundry and begin packing our clothes. Thursday night is "last call" as we will be leaving Friday after work. If it doesn't make it into the camper either Thursday night or Friday morning before work......it doesn't go on the trip. You can imagine how Thursday night will play out...........I will leave that to your imagination

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 154 - Captain Random

So we just went to the final home game of the season for the Texas Rangers this past Saturday night. The whole weekend was a blast. I just love those little getaways!

However, it makes it hard to come back to work on Monday.

I truly do wish that I could quit my job and be with my child until he starts school. It's so hard. I guess I kept thinking that it would eventually not be a big deal, but I was wrong. People kept telling me that it would get easier, but they were wrong too. It isn't any easier to drop him off now than it was on my first day back at work!

Don't get me wrong here......it's not that I don't want to work. It's just that I would much rather be the one raising my child. It is the single most important thing that I will ever do, and I'm stuck with only having 4 out of the 14 hours that he's awake 5 days a week. Am I the only one out there that thinks that is absolutely ridiculous?

Day 144 - Just me rambling

Some people have pointed out very lovingly that I have not updated the blog in awhile....so here goes.

Last Thursday while doing my normal bike route with my Mom, she fell and broke her ankle in three places. We took her to the emergency room where they informed us that she would not be going anywhere that weekend (we were all supposed to go to Texas together for some baseball) and that she would be having reconstructive surgery on Friday. So I picked my Dad up at the airport Friday morning and we drove straight to the hospital where we met my Mom in the elevator as they were taking her in for surgery. We got to talk with her for about 60 seconds and then that was that! Her surgery went well and the doctor said she could be back on her bike in 3 months if all goes as planned. I couldn't stop myself from informing him that his platitudes meant nothing considering that we don't usually cycle in January because it's friggin' cold outside. Whateva' Doc......thanks for nothing. Can you tell I'm a little bit upset over losing my riding partner? Well I am! It sucks big time. And I hate it that my Mom, who is a very active person and doesn't do well with relying on others for everything, will be down and out for 8 weeks. But I know that she'll keep a positive attitude and be ready to go again in the Spring. And just think how much stronger she'll be with all that stainless steel or titanium or whatever the crap they used to fix her.

So in the meantime I had to decide if I was still going to haul Jackson down to Texas for the weekend. Todd had to go no matter what because he had to entertain clients at the game on Friday night and then fly to Houston Monday morning and be gone until Wednesday. I decided that being away from him for 6 days was just silly considering that I had already purchased the plane tickets. So we hopped on a flight with him at 4:30 Friday afternoon after the surgery was over and I had already made sure that my Mom was okay.

Then we had a seriously craptastic time in Texas. We flew into Dallas at 5:30 and went straight to the ballpark. Just as gametime was approaching, the Heavens opened up and it began to pour. I'm talking some serious rain. We couldn't even see the stands in right field from the third base side. It was a ridiculous amount of rain. They ended up postponing the game around 9:30 that night and we went to Dad's apartment feeling good that they had made Sunday's game a double-header because we had tickets to that as well. So no big deal. Well then it rained all day Saturday. Todd got up at 6 in the morning and rode over 60 miles in the Tour de Cure in Fort Worth....crazy man! Jackson and I pretty much sat around and did nothing while the rain came down. We awoke Sunday to more rain and headed to the ballpark anyway around 10:45 for the noon start time for the double header. Yeah......you guessed it.....another rain delay. They ended up delaying the game until 5 o'clock. This was awful because Jackson and I had to catch a flight back to Tulsa at 7:30, so we had to leave the ballpark at 5:30! We got to watch 1-1/2 innings before leaving.

I was not in the best of moods when we got the airport, but my dear son lifted my spirits on the plane ride home. He was talking up a storm and everyone around us kept commenting on how cute he was. That always makes a Mom smile! Then when we landed, he did what any good 3-year-old will do from time to time.....he embarrassed the ever-loving crap right out of me! We were in the fourth row so we were among the first people to de-plane in Tulsa. While we were walking toward the door, the flight attendants were going ga-ga about how cute he was, and the pilot opened the cock-pit door to give Jackson a high-five. J marched right up there, slapped his hand with gusto, and immediately turned to me and announced (very loudly) "Mommy, I just pooted"! I couldn't help but laugh as I asked him "well, what do you say?". He turned to the pilot and said "excuse me". At least he's polite about passing gas in public!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 136 - No yelling at the POTUS!

While the President of the United States was giving a speech to a joint session of Congress regarding health care reform, some moron yelled "you lie". This was in the middle of a sentence and could be heard on the broadcast.

I am outraged that someone would show such disrespect to the President. We have freedom of speech in this country and you are free to speak your mind, but at the same time, I would think that a member of Congress would have enough respect for the office of the President to not shout at him during one of speeches and call him a liar! Seriously?

Republican, Democrat, or Independent.....doesn't matter. RESPECT THE OFFICE!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 130 - College football season has arrived

Let me just first start out by saying that I am so excited about this college football season. Don't get me wrong, I love EVERY college football season. But this year, my team, the Oklahoma State Cowboys, have the highest pre-season ranking in school history. This is very exciting and I look forward to seeing if we can live up to all the hype (fingers crossed)!

Now, I do have something negative to say about the start of the college football season. This time of year always brings constant ridicule for me. I am the lone OSU fan in a family full of OU fans. While my family trades friendly banter with me each year starting in September, some other types of ridicule are not so friendly. Such as those morons at work (and other places) who seem to need to make themselves feel better by bashing another person's favorite team. To those people, I ask this question....."Do you feel better now"?

Why is it that we as humans cannot simply root for what we like/believe in without bashing the opposition. Let me make myself perfectly clear here.....I am an OSU fan, but I also root for OU and TU, because these are universities in the state that I reside and I want them to do well. The only time I EVER root against OU is when they are playing OSU. And by God, I have that right because I attended OSU! Those residing in Oklahoma that take it upon themselves to root against and bash the other universities in this state make me sick. If you are an OSU fan, do not hate OU! And if you are an OU fan, what is it going to hurt if OSU has a good season and makes it to a bowl game? Seriously! And for that matter, I don't root against Texas when they're playing a team outside the Big 12 Conference. I want all teams in the Big 12 to do well.

I guess what I'm basically saying is that people need to grow up and take a long hard look at themselves. If we spent half the time "building up" our own passions rather then "breaking down" others, the world would be better off for it for sure!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 127 - No perfection here!

Well I've been sick for over a week now and I'm frankly getting tired of it all. Sore throat, runny nose, sinus headache from Hades, and the ever-present inability to pop my ears and relieve the mounting pressure in my head. I was in the garage yesterday and thought for a split second about taking my husbands power drill to my head in hopes that it might work. That's how bad it is and I don't know how much more I can take before I go completely ballistic!!!!

Okay, now that I feel better about that little nuisance.............

The stress over the upcoming PE is driving me insane. I have to pass this stupid thing the first time. Nevermind that tons of people I know had to take it more than once. I have to pass it. Have to have to have to!!!! This pressure is coming from nowhere but right here, in my OCD/Perfectionist brain. And it's not just that I'm a perfectionist. I don't want to go through all this crap again. The studying and worrying. It sucks with a capital S (see previous post on calculators to get a feel for my current state of mind)!

And the icing on the cake (mmmmm.....cake!) is that my whole "I didn't gain weight when I quit smoking" post is a bunch of hoopla right now! At the time, I hadn't gained any weight. Apparently, no one informed me that my huge butt would have a delayed reaction to quitting smoking (by about 130 days)!!!!!

I can't eat enough these days. It's ridiculous. Now granted, I'm only up 2 pounds, but that's how it starts. Before you know it I'll be at the fat-girl store (Lane Bryant) buying new dress pants because my rear now needs two area codes instead of one. I hate food and exercise. It's a bunch of crap.

However, the important things are that (1) I am eating a ton of fruits and vegetables, so at least I'm not loading up on the wrong foods...unless you count the 1-1/2 cups of chocolate ice cream per day, and (2) I haven't even wanted to pick up smoking again.

I suppose ending this post with a 'God Bless' would be a little silly as I seem to have gone off the deep end. But I'm going to do it anyway, because you know what..........even Christians aren't perfect and have bad days and need to let off some steam. So there!

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 121 - This is so scary!

Tobacco to kill 6 million next year, report says
1 in 10 deaths globally is due to tobacco use, American Cancer Society says:

WASHINGTON - Tobacco use will kill 6 million people next year from cancer, heart disease, emphysema and a range of other ills, the American Cancer Society said in a report issued on Tuesday.

The society's new Tobacco Atlas estimates that tobacco use costs the global economy $500 billion a year in direct medical expenses, lost productivity and environmental harm.

"Tobacco's total economic costs reduce national wealth in terms of gross domestic product (GDP) by as much as 3.6 percent," the report reads.

"Tobacco accounts for one out of every 10 deaths worldwide and will claim 5.5 million lives this year alone," the report said. If current trends hold, by 2020, the number will grown to an estimated 7 million and top 8 million by 2030.

Over the past four decades, smoking rates have declined in rich countries like the United States, Britain and Japan while rising in much of the developing world, according to the nonprofit research and advocacy organization.

Some other findings from the report, available:

--1 billion men smoke — 35 percent of men in rich countries and 50 percent of men in developing countries.

--About 250 million women smoke daily — 22 percent of women in developed countries and 9 percent of women in developing countries.

--Smoking rates among women are either stable or increasing in several southern, central and eastern European countries.

--The risk of dying from lung cancer is more than 23 times higher for men who smoke than for nonsmokers and 13 times higher for women smokers.

--Tobacco kills one-third to one-half of those who smoke.

--Smokers die an average of 15 years earlier than nonsmokers.

--Nearly 60 percent of Chinese men smoke and China consumes more than 37 percent of the world's cigarettes.

--50 million Chinese children, mostly boys, will die prematurely from tobacco-related diseases.

--Tobacco use will eventually kill 250 million of today's teenagers and children.

--Nearly one-quarter of young people who smoke tried their first cigarette before the age of 10.

--Occupational exposure to secondhand smoke kills 200,000 workers every year.

"One hundred million people were killed by tobacco in the 20th century. Unless effective measures are implemented to prevent young people from smoking and to help current smokers quit, tobacco will kill 1 billion people in the 21st century," the report predicts

Day 116 - Ruminating

The great Western disease is, 'I'll be happy when... When I get the money. When I get a BMW. When I get this job.' Well, the reality is, you never get to when. The only way to find happiness is to understand that happiness is not out there. It's in here. And happiness is not next week. It's now.

~ Marshall Goldsmith ~

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.

~ Denis Waitley ~

There are times when it is hard to believe in the future, when we are temporarily just not brave enough. When this happens, concentrate on the present. Cultivate le petit bonheur (the little happiness) until courage returns. Look forward to the beauty of the next moment, the next hour, the promise of a good meal, sleep, a book, a movie, the likelihood that tonight the stars will shine and tomorrow the sun will shine. Sink roots into the present until the strength grows to think about tomorrow.

~ Ardis Whitman ~

God Bless,

The Quitter

Day 114 - Calculators and Atrocities

So I had to purchase a new calculator to use on the Principles and Practice of Engineering (PE) exam in October.

It's not enough that they make you take a test to get licensed after torturing you in school for 5 years. To add insult to injury, you have to become familiar with a new calculator. Well that's just craptastic! I have had the same graphing calculator (TI-85) since I was a sophomore in high school. That's 12 years that I've had this same calculator (wow....I'm getting old). I'm not trying to sound like a super-nerd here, but seriously, a scientific mind gets used to using the same calculator and that scientific mind feels naked without said calculator! In short, it sucks big time and I am not happy about taking the PE exam sans clothing (metaphorically speaking of course).

So I finally opened my new "approved" calcualator this morning and noticed something that really hacked me off (more than having to get a new calculator in the first place). There are two user's manuals! Yep......you guessed it.......one in English and one in Spanish. I know that this is not a new concept, but it just made me mad. I probably paid more for that calculator because they had to print two manuals instead of one. We are in the United States of America people! Learn the language or get the heck out of dodge!!!!!

If I were to immigrate to a new country, I wouldn't expect that country's people/government to bend over backwards to make sure I am all nice and cozy and can read calculator manuals. I would do everything I could to assimilate into that culture.....and that starts with learning the friggin' language!!!!!!!

Am I lacking compassion here? Absolutely, but at this point I really don't care.

And while I'm on a roll here.....let's talk about the discrimination that's at work here. I think it is unfair to the Chinese, Arab, Korean, Japanese, German, French, Italian etc. immigrants that are now citizens of this country who do not automatically get consideration when it comes to users manuals (at least in this story). Does Casio think that only Spanish speaking American immigrants deserve special treatment? This is an atrocity and a prime example of discrimation in America at it's worse [obvious sarcasm - but I thought I'd say it because I don't want anyone to think I'm a crazy left-wing nutjob or anything]. =)

In other news, have a wonderful day!

Disclaimer: no calculators were harmed during the creation of this blog (although it was tempting)

Day 112 - Some people make me crazy!

Still no smoking. And by the way, that is the last time I'm going to say it. I am a non-smoker now. I will only give an "update" on smoking if I fall off the wagon (which isn't going to happen because I have will power baby)!

Anyway, we had a great birthday party for J yesterday. Can't believe he's 3 already. Time to start thinking about having another one............

On to my title theme of people making me crazy........

Can I just say that there are certain people on this planet that I would just like to smack upside the head with a cinder block? I mean SERIOUSLY!

Okay, that feels a little better.

In other news, I am currently studying to take the PE exam in October. This has only made me want to commit suicide once in the past 3 months, so I consider it a success thus far. =)

Seriously though....things are going great and life is good.

Here's to not worrying about what everyone else thinks and living your life to its fullest potential.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 105 - Great weekend

Day 105......and do I really have to say it?

Okay....I'll say it....I'm still smoke free.

We had a great weekend and got tons of stuff done. The only thing that didn't get started, much less completed, was sorting through little mans toys. His birthday party is this Sunday so we were going to try to clear some floor space in anticipation of some new toys. The past two birthdays we have come home loaded down with more toys than he ever plays with. It's ridiculous when you stop to think about it. But at the same time, it's nice to know that all these people love our child enough to want to come to his birthday party and show that they're glad he is alive. Maybe we should do a "toys for tots" birthday party. I should have written that on the invitations actually. Maybe this would be giving my child the shaft? Who knows? I'm done worrying about it though. Okay I'm rambling now.

So we got the garage cleaned out yesterday. It looks great (I give it a week before it's trashed again), but I "tweaked" my back during the process of moving stuff. I"m not sure when or how it happened, I just know that when all was said and done, my back hurt. It was worse when I got out of bed this morning, and I am not liking it. But I'm glad the garage is clean.

Well I just read back over all this (I always do to check for mistakes) and I just realized that I wrote two paragraphs about nothing that anyone would ever want or care to read about. Oh well......I guess the point of having a blog is to write about whatever you want to write about, and I was a pretty boring person this weekend. When I started this blog, it was to show people the human anguish that is evident when someone quits smoking. Good thing for me that it didn't really succeed because I really haven't had that many problems with it. Sorry that you no longer get to read about the horrors of my life without cigarettes, because I must say that I am much better off now than I was 105 days ago. =)

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 101 - I'd like to order a cake please

So I went to the new Reasor's in Jenks at lunch today to order J's birthday cake for his party next weekend. I just have to say that the new store is amazing. I will be tempted this Saturday to drive to Jenks to do my grocery shopping rather then walk through the stank-infested ghetto that is my local Wal-Mart.

Anywho........so the store is super nice, but the bakery witch left a bit to be desired as she zoomed in on her broom to take my order. Let me set the scene for you here - it's calm and quiet in the bakery department around 11:45 a.m. in Jenks, America........there is not a line at the counter (in fact I'm the only one within 100 feet).....soft music is playing overhead and there is a smile on my pretty little customer face. Now here is the dialogue:

Me: "I'd like to order a Backyardigans birthday cake"

Bakery Witch (BW): (Grabbing a pen and pad of paper) "Name?"

Me: "Mine or my son's?"

BW: "Why would I want your son's name?"

Me: (Looking slightly taken aback I'm sure) - "Well the cake is for him and I just wasn't sure if you were asking for my name for the order or his name for the cake."

BW: (Zero personality) "Yours"

Me: (I gave her my name)

BW: "What size cake?"

Me: "How many will a half sheet feed?"

BW: (Looking exasperated that I don't already know this and put out by the fact that she has to dig under the counter and consult a cheat sheet) "35-40".

Me: "Perfect, I'll do a half sheet"

BW: "Flavor?"

Me: "Half chocolate, half white"

BW: (Pauses with the pen and looks at me) "That will cost an extra dollar"

Me: "Okay"

BW: "Do you still want to do both flavors?"

Me: "Yes please" (Really? I mean, I know I don't actually live in Jenks, but I can still afford to pay an extra dollar to get chocolate AND white cake for my son's birthday)

BW: "And what do you want it to say?"

Me: "Happy Birthday -------- (deleted for the sake of privacy)"

BW: "What day will you be picking it up?"

Me: "Saturday, August 15th"

BW: "Time?"

Me: "I'm really not sure yet" (I have not finalized my plans for that Saturday and due to the crazy nature of my weekends, I have no idea what time I will be able to venture into Jenks to pick up the cake - it might be mid-morning, mid-afternoon, or evening - I really don't know)

BW: (Dripping with sarcasm and hate-fullness) "I kind of need a time frame to have the cake ready"

Me: "Okay, just have it ready that Friday so it will definitely be ready for Saturday morning or afternoon"

BW: "So now you're picking it up on Friday?"

Me: "No, I won't pick it up until Saturday morning or afternoon"

BW: "I have to write down a time on this form, I can't just put down 'all day'."

Me: (Starting to realize that there truly are complete morons everywhere, even in Jenks) "Okay then, write on that form that I will pick it up Friday at 5 o'clock."

BW: (Sighing) "Okay, it will be ready Friday the 14th at 5 o'clock"

Me: "Thank you"


Geez! Was that so hard? Seriously!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 100 - Woot!

Today marks 100 smoke free days for me.

I ROCK!

Day 98 - I want to stay at home!

So it's day 98 and still smoke free. Once again, this is getting boring as this has now become the norm for me. I'm not complaining though, it's a very good thing.

Today's post will my rant about how I wish I could stay at home until my child starts school. I'm only feeling this way today because I had 3 whole days with him instead of the usual 2 that I get on a normal weekend. Coming back to work on Monday after a 3-day weekend is always so hard.

I wonder if it would be too much to ask that my husband go back to school to become a doctor or something so that I could stay at home with little man? =)

Here's to working so that our children have all that they need/want in life.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 92 - Why would you do that?

WARNING: Rant in progress! I am standing firmly upon my soapbox (and it's a big soapbox)!

I have recently moved offices and have been parking in a different area of the parking lot at work for about 3 weeks now (this will become relevant in a second).

There is a nameless person at my office who had a heart attack about 3 years ago and had some stents put in to keep their arteries open and their heart functioning properly. Shortly after this operation, this person quit smoking at the request of their doctor as plaque build-up from years of cigarettes was the cause of the blockage which in turn caused the heart attack.

Within 6 months this person was smoking again, although I have no idea if the frequency had been reduced.

My rant today is that for the past 3 weeks, I have seen this person pull into the parking lot next to me, get out of their vehicle reeking of cigarette smoke, and carrying a Daylight Donuts bag! Every day for 3 weeks! I mean, I am all for people being able to do as they please and eat what they want and smoke if they want to......but come on! Does this person really think that this is the way to stay healthy. You've already had one heart attack, and you're still smoking and eating donut holes for breakfast every morning.

WHY?

And now for my disclaimer:

I am in no way saying that I am perfect because I quit smoking, far from it actually. I am in no way saying that my diet is perfect, again, far from it. But if I touch a hot stove and it burns me once, shame on the stove. I touch it twice knowing that it will burn me again, shame on me! I truly hope this person comes to the realization that these are not good choices for their health and well being.

Here's to making good choices in life.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 91 - Stupid Dryer!

So it's day 91 and still no smoking.

However, the dryer decided to make the weekend spectacular and give me something to write about in the blog. How nice of the dryer!

Basically we're going out of town this weekend and I needed to seriously catch up on some laundry (like 6 loads in 2 days......yuck). So to make this endeavor even more fun, the dryer decides that it needs 4 hours to dry one load of towels. Seriously?

My Grandpa came over and took the front panel off, beat on the thing for awhile, then told me to call a repair man. Well thank you happy helper!

Meanwhile, I was shuttling basket-fuls of clean (and soaking wet clothes) over to my Grandma's house to be dried. Basically I spent my Sunday driving to their house every hour on the hour to change-out my laundry. Thank God they only live 3 miles away, or this might have been inconvenient!

So the repair man comes today, and Lord only knows what that is going to cost.

As my husband put it last night, "In honor of 'it's alway something at our house', what do you say we spend some money on fixing the dryer"?

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 84 - Rough weekend

So this weekend was hard with a capital H! I did a little drinking and everyone around me was smoking. I wanted a cigarette so bad.........but lucky for me, everyone refused to give me one. At least I know that people have my back on this! I could have simply walked across the street to the gas station and bought a pack, but I didn't. In the end, I didn't smoke because of my own will power, but it sure helped that they all refused to give me a cigarette.

We had a blast at the game and I got to go watch a movie with my Mom while husband went golfing with Dad. That was so fun.....I haven't seen a movie at the theater in FOREVER. We saw 'The Proposal' and laughed our butts off. Well not really because my pants are still tight......but you know what I mean.

Today it's back to life.....back to reality......and yes, I am busting out in song here in case you were wondering.

I miss my kid!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 77 - No more fat girl legs

So it's day 77 of being smoke free. It's awesome....although I had a hard time at the pool with the family on Friday night. But I made it through! =) Baby steps........

I've also taken steps to kick my annoying Braum's habit. I bought some fat free rainbow sherbert at the grocery store to help curb my late night ice cream cravings. And we all know that this is exactly the same as a Braum's chocolate mix with Reese's PB Cups....right? NOT EVEN CLOSE! But it'll have to do because I refuse to spend another summer not wearing shorts. It's ridiculous. By next summer, I vow to feel comfortable in shorts again. Not really short shorts because that's just stupid - but I at least want to feel like I can walk into QT with my bike shorts on without wanting to crawl under the tile and disapear because my legs look like they belong to a fat person! That's not right. I don't want to be that fat person anymore. Maybe this is why I'm partial to the winter season?

Here's to kicking another bad habit

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 72

Still smoke free.......this is getting annoying.

I did not anticipate that having a blog would make me feel like a boring old bump on a log at times. I just simply have nothing to say right now.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 66

It has been 2 weeks since I've taken Chantix and 9-1/2 weeks have gone by without me smoking a single cigarette.

I did have a dream last night that I lit up again though. It was weird.........because I actually woke up feeling guilty. And I'm off the Chantix so I can't blame the dream on that anymore. Maybe it is just my sub-conscious trying to remind me that I need to stay smoke-free because all these negative feelings are associated with smoking.

Either way........I'm still smoke free and working to complete my 10th week. A nice round number that I am very proud of. It's a sad state of affairs when you're proud of yourself for abstaining from something. It just proves that whatever it was had a strong hold on you. Now if I could just take care of that pesky ice cream habit........

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 65

Still smoke free. Nothing more to say.

Day 63 - Still Chantix & Smoke Free!

Sorry about the rhyming in the title. Annoying, I know!

Well I'm still chugging along doing good on my smoke-free journey. It feels great!

Although I still have days where I want a cigarette. The cravings are leaps and bounds weaker then they were 2 months ago. It's amazing how they dwindle in strength as time goes on.

Here's to 60 more days smoke free.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 59 - No Chantix for 1 week

Well I haven't taken Chantix for one full week and I still smoke free.

Woot woot!

Day 57 - Not that anyone cares

Still smoke free

No Chantix since last Wednesday

Day 56 - Off Chantix?

Well it's Day 56 and I'm still smoke free. As if that's even surprising anymore. I'm becoming boring and predictable.

Well last Wednesday night I finished one of my one-week packs of Chantix and forgot to put a new one-week pack in my purse. So I didn't have it with me at work and then forgot to take it when I got home. This continued through Saturday, and then yesterday I just decided not to take it. Why bother if I feel the same without it? I mean, seriously, if I don't have to spend $140 a month for the next 3 months, why would I do that. I'm only 3 weeks shy of the recommended 12 weeks (recommended by the makers of Chantix). My doctor suggested that I be on it for 6 months, but I don't know if that will be necessary. If I start to have problems, I'll get a refill. But I think I'm good to go.

Here's to being smoke-free FOREVER and loving it!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 53 - Positive Attitude

So the most important thing for me to do right now is to keep a positive attitude. With all the negative in the world that I cannot control, why would I want to create more negative in my life? That's futile in my opinion. And since my previous outlet for frustration (smoking) is now gone, reducing the negative/stress in my life is pretty important.

My goal from now on is to look at each situation as it arises and ask myself this question: "Will it matter in 30 minutes"?

If the answer to that is no, then the question becomes: "Will it matter in 1 day"?

And then: "Will it matter in 1 week"?

And so on and so forth.

Eventually, I will realize that a situation either warrants concern or it doesn't. If I get home from work and the house needs picked up, I'm not going to stress out about it, because it won't matter in 1 week. In 1 week, what's the difference between gradually putting things away over a 2 day period or stressing about it for 30 minutes and running around like a crazy woman cleaning everything in sight. In 1 week, the house is picked up no matter how it happened.

Here's to less stress and my new mantra - "They can't eat you"!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 52 - How sweet it is

Father's day is this Sunday and I'm looking forward to spending time with family.

I feel blessed today. I feel lucky to have all these people in my life. I feel fortunate to be able to do the things that we do as a family and as individuals. I'm thankful that I still have a job and can afford the material things that I have (even though sometimes I wish for more - I'm only human after all). And lastly, I feel blessed to have the strength to stand up to 'big tobacco' and take my life back into my own hands. It feels good to fight an addiction. I still crave a cigarette at least once a day........but I have been able to resist those urges, and for that I am thankful.

To those of you out there that are still struggling with quitting, I say 'bravo' for embarking this journey. Any reduction in smoking that you have been able to achieve thus far is applauded and is something to be proud of! Keep struggling......because in the end it is so worth it. Congratulations on making it as far as you have, and good luck on the rest of your quitting journey.

Here's to being thankful for what you have.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 51 - Happy go lucky

Well it's day 51 and I'm just happy go lucky. Things are going surprisingly well without cigarettes and I'm looking forward to more days smoke free. 50 days was a big milestone, and now I'm on the other side looking ahead to 100 days! That will be amazing. Pretty soon, I won't consider myself an ex-smoker anymore. I will simply be myself.........someone who is not defined by smoking/not smoking.

It truly amazes me the way that people often make character judgements about a person based on the fact that they are a smoker. I've had people tell me that I don't "look like a smoker". Well what in the world does that mean? What do smokers look like?

I think it's sad when people judge you as a person based on one attribute. Let's all just live our lives without judging others. Unless someone is doing something with their life that is harmful to you or your family, you shouldn't judge them for it. And even then, judging isn't the right word for what you should do. You should simply let that person know that you do not agree and that you will not allow that attribute to affect you and yours.

Here's to living together on this planet in peace.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 50 - WOW!

Fifty days without smoking! What a milestone. I rock!

Day 49 - Great Weekend!

I love mini-vacations! We had such a good time this weekend. The only bad part was that we decided to stay for the 2 o'clock Rangers game yesterday and didn't end up leaving Dallas until 5:30, which put us home at 11:00 pm. Little man was having none of it for about the last hour of the trip home. But he was really good considering that he didn't get a nap Saturday or Sunday. We had a blast though.

And no smoking!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 45 - Busy Week

Well it's been a very busy week. I did a load of laundry each night so that I wouldn't have to come home to twenty loads of laundry on Sunday (that's never any fun). We've also been packing things here and there in the evening so that tonight isn't full of last minute packing. We're leaving at 6 o'clock tomorrow morning for our long weekend and I'm so excited to just get away for awhile. I got all of the big ticket items off my desk (not an easy thing to do) and I'm so glad because now I don't have to worry about engineering reports all weekend! All I have left for next week is a few small projects that should be no sweat. Now the only problem is worrying about when I'll have more work!

I feel sluggish right now because I haven't ridden my bike since Sunday. Monday was hubby's day to ride and Tuesday and Wednesday the weather was horrible. I won't have time tonight since we've got to finish up the packing and get the car loaded because I really do not want to load the car at 5:30 in the AM! =) Have I mentioned that I am so not a morning person?

Anyway, another successful day of staying away from those cigarettes. You gotta love the smell of shampoo & conditioner in the afternoon!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 44 - Tragedy Yesterday (but no one I know so don't worry)

Two cyclist were killed yesterday while riding on a route that I frequently ride on (although not much this season as of yet). Apparently the driver of an SUV swerved onto the shoulder and rammed right into them. There is speculation that alcohol was involved.

This is just truly horrific. One of the cyclist is a 33 year old female and the other is a 34 year old male. Not to say that age makes it any less or more horrific, but I'm only a few years younger than them. They had their whole lives ahead of them. It has just made me stop and look at how precious life truly is. This could have been me or my husband or my mother or sister or father. In fact, my grandmother called me yesterday after work and almost started crying with relief when I answered the phone, because she thought it might have been me (ages had not been released).

I guess I'm just thankful for every day that God allows me to wake up and get out of bed in the morning. I'm not done here yet. Which is just another motiviation to continue to be smoke free. I don't want to take any chances with the time that He allows.

Here's to another day on Earth.

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 43 - Packing Sucks

Can I just say that I loathe packing for trips? I hate it hate it hate it hate it!

Okay, sorry about that, but seriously. It seems like you spend more time thinking about what to pack and making sure that you don't forget anything that you actually spend on your trip. Not fun. But who am I to complain? At least I have the opportunity to go on these trips, and for that I am thankful.

Another gripe that I have today is why can't I manage to remember everything I need for the week while I'm grocery shopping at Wal-Mart each Saturday? That is so annoying. It seems like I always have to make at least two special trips a week for something. Yesterday it was pull-ups for little man and today I have to go buy shoelaces. Ridiculous.

In closing, I'd just like to say that I am still smoke free and happy about it. Now I don't have to worry about the 4-1/2 hour car trip on Friday. Two months ago I would have been freaking out about going that long without a cigarette. Not anymore! =)

Here's to weekend trips.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 42 - Good weekend

Well it's been 42 days since I quit smoking. I've been taking Chantix for 7 weeks, and according to their website I have potentially saved $105 by not buying cigarettes. Wouldn't it be cool if they actually sent you this money for quitting? I could handle that!

We had a good weekend. Too bad the work week isn't 2 days long with a 5 day weekend. That's the way it should be in my opinion.

This week will be busy as we get ready for our weekend trip down to Texas. Baseball and water park. We're getting really excited.

Well I'm going to be a little boring today because it's Monday and I'm tired and cranky.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 39 - Weigh-in Day

So Friday is weigh-in day for me. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not so good, but it's always much anticipated. I hop out of bed each Friday morning eager to get on the scale to see if I've dropped another pound. Even if I've only maintained my current fat and globby self for the week, that's okay too, because gaining would be worse and you've got to look at the bright side in life. Anyway, this morning's weigh-in showed that I have gained 1-1/2 pounds in the past 3 weeks (I haven't weighed in the past two Fridays for some reason). To me, this is no big deal. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm pleased with a 1-1/2 pound weight gain in 3 weeks. Well let me tell you why. I'm not really trying to lose weight right now. I'm just trying to do the things I enjoy (riding my bike and doing yoga) when time allows and refrain from smoking. Sometimes refraining from smoking means sitting down in the recliner after little man has gone to bed and eating two handfuls of Flipsides crackers at 9:30 pm for no apparent reason......and that's okay. Because I'm still a non-smoker, and that's what is most important to me right now. Whatever weight I gain in the process can be removed at a later date. That's not to say that I'm going to give up on losing weight all-together. To be quite honest, I need to start doing strength training again and eating a little better. This epiphany came while bathing suit shopping for our upcoming weekend mini-vacation at which time we will be going to a water park (YIKES)!

Don't you just love life's little pesky annoyances? Like feeling the need to look like Twiggy in order to be seen as a normal female! My goal is to simply not look like a tub of 2% small curd cottage cheese in my bike shorts. HA! I'm funny.

Here's to loving life and trying your best to improve yourself along the way.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 38 - Alright already

So I posted yesterday that I'm only going to update weekly and I got a little resistance on that one. So I will keep posting every day, but I'm not that interesting, so sometimes it may simply be a "I'm still a non-smoker" post.

I'm still a non-smoker.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 37

Since no one is reading this blog anymore and I'm getting tired of updating it everyday, I'm only going to report weekly how I am doing. Still 'no smoking'.

I rock!

Day 36

Well yesterday went like the day before as far as 'no smoking'. As in, I didn't.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, can I just say that it really sucks that life is totally backwards. When you're young and have children to raise, you have to work and save all your money so that when you're old and don't want to do anything, you can quit work and sit around while your children are out there in the world with their own lives. I truly resent that. If our government wants to do something to make a real change, change that crap.

Totally ridiculous.

And now I'm done. Thank you for tuning in for this installment of 'I resent that someone else is raising my child - Season 1'.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 35

The weekend went really well on the 'no smoking' front. Still no cigarettes, unless you count the numerous times I had to inhale second-hand smoke this weekend from the morons smoking in a giant crowd of people. Seriously!

Anyway, another beautiful day ahead. It was hot this weekend, but the weather was great for Tulsa Tough. Little man was sick Friday and Saturday, but is doing fine now. To put it politely, he showed everyone at the bike race on Friday night what he had for lunch! Not pretty. Poor little guy.

I got a new bathing suit yesterday to take on our trip coming up in a few weeks. I really hate shopping for bathing suits. This year, I quit smoking. Next year, my goal is to not hate shopping for bathing suits! I'm thinking that quitting smoking will prove to be easier! =)

Here's to making it through each of life's little struggles.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 32 - Tulsa Tough & Cigarettes

Day 31 went well, which is the norm now. I suppose I should start posting if I smoke, because that would be straying from the beaten path at this point. Now I understand why a lot of people who started 'stop smoking' blogs allowed them to turn into 'life' blogs after a few months. It's because we get sick and tired of dwelling on the whole 'stop smoking' part of our lives. For me, this is an outlet to update on my progress and tell a few funny stories now and then. Starting off, it was good for me to write out how I was feeling and what my body was going through, but now, it's just mundane because to me, I've already won this battle. There's no turning back now. =)

Anyway, we're going to the Tulsa Tough bike races this weekend and I am not looking forward to standing by the smokers in the crowd. It's amazing how the smell of cigarette smoke makes me feel now. I used to think that it would make me want to smoke again, but it truly just makes me sick. I'm not talking down on these people because I'm certainly no hypocrit, but it just stinks like no other. And I do think that smokers just don't realize how far-reaching their smoke can be in a crowd of people. I certainly never thought about it. Sure I would walk to the outskirts of the crowd and try to be polite, but I now realize that it was probably to no avail. But you know what........you can't change people. All you can do is your live your life and make positive changes in yourself. Maybe along the way you can be a good influence on someone. If not, that's okay too.

Here's to turning my 'stop smoking' blog into a 'life' blog.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 31 - Dreaming

Day 30 went just like day 29.....no smoking....blah blah blah.

Anways, the Chantix dreams are seriously starting to get on my nerves. It's a modge-podge of nonsense and I think it's affecting my sleep quality. For about a week now I have slept through my last alarm and gotten out of bed 10-15 minutes late, which is no big deal, but I have to practically sprint through the house to get ready on time when that happens. Not a fun way to start the day. And I don't really feel rested. I feel sluggish and tired. Some of that may have to do with the fact that until Tuesday, I hadn't ridden my bike in over a week due to being out of town for the holiday weekend (excuses excuses.....I know)! It's hard to tell just what is causing me to be tired. Even if it's not the Chantix, I still don't really appreciate the freaky dreams. They're still not scary, but I can't make sense out of any of them. At first, I would have a dream and it would make sense and it was just really vivid, like watching a movie. But now, in my 6th week on Chantix, it's starting to get downright freaky. Oh yeah, and according to the Chantix website, I've saved $77 by not purchasing cigarettes. Considering that I've spent $138 on each of my 2 Chantix prescriptions, this doesn't exactly make me jump for joy. The important thing is that I'm making an investment in my future that's more important than even my 401K, which sucks right now by the way. Sorry, I'm starting to go off the beaten path a little. Better cut this off before I start ranting about other topics.

Here's to peaceful sleep.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 30 - No more peaceful family rides

Well another successful day yesterday. This is seriously becoming boring. I don't mean to sound all 'holier than thou', but every day is just another day now. Sure, I think about cigarettes now and then, but I don't want one. I've worked too hard and come too far to turn back now. This tells me two things......1) I truly was ready to quit this time, and 2) I have the willpower to do anything in my life because I am in control. That's a great feeling! Sorry if I'm making this sound like it's been a piece of cake. The first two weeks were miserable, but so worth it. The so-called experts are not blowing smoke (no pun intended) when they say that the first few weeks are the worse.

In other news, it seems that our little man has truly outgrown the Trek bike trailer. Not in size, but in mentality. We tried to take him on a nice liesurely 10 mile family ride last night and it started out like normal, but ended with a spanking. He was chillin' in the trailer with his fridge DJ singing his ABC's while we were riding along. Around mile 5 (apparently his new breaking point), he began to thrash around in the trailer. So Daddy calmy told him not to do that and we kept going. Around mile 5.5, he decided that fridge DJ no longer deserved to ride in the bike trailer.......so he looked me straight in the face like "hey Mom, are you watching, because I want to make certain that I get in trouble for this", and he tossed the fridge DJ out of the trailer throug the little mesh screen in the front. I knew he was going to do it, I just couldn't stop it. For this behavior, he was awarded with a swat on the leg and a harsh "we do not throw things out of the bike trailer". This then prompted him to scream bloody murder for all to hear the entire way back to the truck. After repeatedly informing him that we were making our way back to the vehicle to take him home and getting no response (other than the ring-tailed fit that ensued), we decided that once our train came to a stop, he would get a spanking for screaming and throwing a fit. So we did the spanking thing, he cried for a second, and we quietly drove to the house. Upon entering the driveway and shutting off the truck, he decides to make this announcement...."we're home, I not in trouble anymore, I very happy now"! This is the point where I took two deep breaths so as to not run headlong into the fence in order to knock myself out for a few minutes to get some peace and quiet. Knowing that this wasn't an option, I simply marched him inside straight to timeout, where he sat without saying a single word for 3 minutes. After timeout was over and he said he was sorry for acting 'ugly' as we call it, we had a pleasant evening (what was left of it). So in retrospect, we have decided that he is no longer going to ride in the bike trailer, because 6 miles isn't even worth getting dressed for. It was a sad revelation really.

Sorry for the rambling, but it gets old just talking about 'not smoking' all the time.

Here's to my 2 year old making it to his 3rd birthday without me losing my mind!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 29 - A much needed update

Sorry I haven't updated for a whole week. I was out in the country where you can't get cell phone reception, let alone a good internet signal. I suppose I could have posted daily, but the signal strength was terrible and I didn't have the patience to sit and wait on the computer to think for 10 minutes every time I told it to do something. Besides, I was busy running around after a filthy 2 year old at the campground for 4 straight days. But I wouldn't have it any other way. We had a great time!

Anyway, yesterday marked my 4th week of being smoke free. It's crazy that it's already been 4 weeks. In a way, it seems like much longer, which is a good thing. I hardly think about it at all anymore. The Chantix is working out well. I'm having more and more strange and vivid dreams lately. They aren't scary, they're just really weird. It's hard to decipher them sometimes. But all in all, I think the Chantix has been a really good tool for me. If I had it to do over again, I would choose Chantix from the start. Okay, enough already. I'm starting to sound like some sort of spokesperson here.

Here's to Week 5!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 22

Well it's day 22. I made it through yesterday with flying colors. 3 weeks smoke free.

Getting excited about our 4 day camping trip coming up. It's always good to see the extended family over Memorial Day weekend.

I don't really have much to update today. I'm kind of boring, sorry.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Another Reason to Quit

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30804744/

Day 21 - 3 Week Mark!

Sorry it's been a few days since I updated. I had a very busy weekend. Saturday was the Tour de Cure ride for diabetes (55 miles) and Sunday was catch-up day on housework and laundry (yuck).

Still no smoking and getting easier every day. I actually had to look at my previous post to find out what day I'm on b/c it's becoming less and less important to me. This is a good thing in my opinion b/c at first I was like "3 days....25 minutes.....3 seconds since my last cigarette". That was starting to get annoying.

I've been on Chantix for 4 weeks, which means I have to fill my prescription today. I'm kind of grumpy about spending another $138, but I'm going to do it anyway. I know that it comes out to about the same cost as a month's worth of cigarettes, but I never bought $138 worth of cigarettes at one time, so it seems a little different. Bottom line is that I'll save money in the long run and be a much healthier person.

Congratulations to my Mom for making the decision to quit with Chantix. Good luck Mom and I love you.

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 17 - Glad to be home

Oh my goodness I hate flying. O'Hare is the world's worst airport (at least of the few dozen that I've been too anyway). I didn't have time for lunch yesterday b/c my flight to Richmond was delayed and I had to haul booty down the highway to meet the client on time. And then today, we got on the plane in Chicago to head back to Tulsa 20 minutes after we were supposed to take off. To make matters worse.........well, maybe I should back up a bit here.

My flight from Richmond landed at O'Hare at gate F9. My flight for Tulsa took off from gate B22. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the metropolis that is O'Hare, that's some serious ground to cover. Luckily, I had an hour to do it, but still! Anyway, so when I was finally approaching my gate (which is at the end of concourse B and somewhat secluded), I can hear this one woman's voice above all the rest. She sounded like she was from up north somewhere (I would soon find out she is from New York City). So I look around for somewhere to sit (fat chance) and finally settle on standing near the ticket counter b/c we were going to begin boarding in a few minutes (or so I thought). As I'm standing there, this woman is going on and on to some man sitting next to her, laughing really loud the whole time. Then out of nowhere, she smacks the guy and says "ball-cock-a**hole"! I tried my hardest not to react to this in the normal fashion, but could not help staring open-mouthed at this woman (she's probably around my age). After the initial shock of the blatant profanities streaming from her wide open mouth, I realized that she has tourettes syndrome. Boy did I feel like a butt for staring. Oh well, we all make mistakes right?

So a lady comes out and announces that we will soon begin boarding flight whatever to Tulsa. Apparently the word "Tulsa" triggered something in this woman's head, b/c she went absolutely ballistic. She grabbed her things and came over to stand next to me near the jet-way. Throughout this story, try to keep in mind that she apparenty was not blessed with an inside voice (coming from me....this means she talks frickin' loud people). She gets about two inches from my face (you can imagine my reaction to this) and starts this dialogue:

Her: "Are you going to Tulsa?"
Me: "Yes"
Her: "Do you live in Tulsa?"
Me: "Yes"
Her: "OH MY GOD....DO YOU KNOW HANSON.....I LOVE HANSON......I'M GOING TO TULSA TO SEE THEM......MY MOM AND DAD ARE COMING WITH ME.....MY MOM EVEN HAS THE POSTER THAT I MADE TO SHOW THEM WHEN I GET TO TULSA"
Me: "Good for you" (I really didn't know what else to say)
Her: "So have you ever seen Hanson?"
Me: "No, Tulsa is pretty big"
Her: "My Mom says that Tulsa is small compared to New York City and nasty b/c it's in the middle of the country"
Me: "Oh" (can't wait to meet her Mom at this point)
Her: "ball-cock"
Me: Complete silence - pretending to text message someone on my phone

Apparently something else caught her attention at that point, because she repeated the same conversation with another unfortunate soul standing nearby. Then her parents showed up to stand next to her (probably in their early sixties). They had just come from the bathroom. I know this because her Mom let everyone within earshot know that she had a really bad case of diarrhea and was really scared to get back on a plane. Great! I'm so glad these people are on my flight. Enter the ticket agent to save the day. I got on the plane in the first group of people, thankful that the family from Hades was not in pursuit, which means that they are at the front of the plane as opposed to the back with me. WRONG! After everyone had boarded the plane, these three come skipping down the aisle and plop themselves in row 18 (last row). Yours truly is in row 16. No freakin' way. It's a two hour flight! Someone please tell me this is not happening.

The flight attendant closed the cabin door and we pushed off. She's back there asking what every little noise is (extremely loudly) and saying all sorts of profanities that I can't even repeat on here. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse, the Mom gets up and yells at the flight attendant (who is in the very front doing the whole 'exits are here' thing) asking her how to open the bathroom door. The flight attendant comes back and politely asks her to please wait until we have reached our cruising altitude to use the facilities. Mom informs her that if she doesn't get to use the bathroom right that instant, she's going to crap all over her seat. The flight attendant let her into the bathroom, and phoned the cockpit to inform the pilots that we would have to wait to take-off. We sat on the tarmac for 30 minutes waiting for this woman to get done crapping while listening to her daughter say "Mom......stop pooping, we have to go to Tulsa to see Hanson". When she was finally done, we had lost our slot on the runway and had to wait another 20 minutes to take-off. We finally take-off, and the Mom starts totally wiggin' out. I mean, like white knuckle "what is that sound" wiggin' out. Every time the plane did anything, she freaked. When the pilot pulled the landing gear up, she screamed bloody murder. Seriously?

So I'm thinking that this flight can't get any worse, but again I was wrong. Between bouts of blurting profanity, the twenty-something lady with tourettes syndrome decided to serenade us with her rendition of 'Mmmmm Bop' repeatedly. Lovely. I didn't particularly enjoy that song when it first came out. I definitely do not like her version with the f-word thrown in for effect.

She kept looking out the window and asking which city we were flying over. Who cares!

Her Mom asked the guy right in front of her if Tulsa is as nasty as everyone says it is. He politely thanked her for insulting everyone on the plane, and then informed her that Tulsa is a lovely city. I happen to agree to him by the way.

Anyway, so the captain turns the fasten seat belt light back on, and the flight attendant informs everyone that we will be making our initial descent into Tulsa (this gets the expected reaction from you know who). So Mom decides that her butt is about to explode once again, and jumps up and goes to the bathroom. The flight attendant comes back and knocks on the door to let her know that she really needs to get back to her seat and fasten her seat belt. Mom tells her she can't b/c she's really sick and will probably be there for awhile. The flight attendant gets on the phone to the cockpit and informs the pilot that we have a crapper.....again. We circled the skies above Tulsa for 15 minutes waiting for poopy pants to finish b/c apparently the ride was going to be really bumpy (it was in fact) going through the clouds on the way down. Un-freakin'-real.

In closing, I would just like to say that I am in no way making fun of tourettes syndrome. I think it is a very unfortunate disease and truly feel for anyone that has been affected by it. But seriously, this was just too good not to share. I mean, you can't make this stuff up.

Oh yeah, and I didn't smoke today either. 17 days!

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 16 - Road Trip

So I'm on a business trip (flight left this morning at 6 o'clock) and I had to drive 4 hours total today. IN A CAR (like what else is there, I know). But seriously, it was difficult at times. When I found myself wanting a cigarette, I turned my iPod on and sang at the top of my lungs. It actually helped. I also noticed during this process that my singing voice from high school is back! I sound much better now than I did two weeks ago.

So I made it through the whole driving to the compressor station and back ordeal, checked into my hotel, and headed out in search of food because I didn't have time for lunch because my flight was delayed in Chicago (no shocker there).

I decided to go to Outback (my favorite)! I got directions to the nearest one, grabbed my book, and off I went in search of a good steak and single dining (bummer).

Here's where I get really mad. Apparently, you can still smoke in restaraunts in freaking Virginia. Granted, they have a non-smoking section (which I sat in even when I did smoke way back when you could smoke in restaraunts in Oklahoma - AKA, God's country)! The problem is that you walk in the front door and you're in the smoking section. The non-smoking section is through another door and in the back. Can anyone tell me how this makes any sense whatsoever? After paying my bill, I decided to walk around the restaraunt (whish is a little different than ours in Tulsa) to see if I had simply walked into an alternate door. Nope! The only door into the place was directly into the smoking section. Seriously!

Enough of my rant. I have made it through another successful day with no cigarettes and no crazy Chantix side effects. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take the oppurtunity to go to bed at a decent time tonight as my husband is busy with dishes, bathtime, and bedtime. HA!

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 15 - Lack of Nicotine Damaging My Brain

Well another successful day to mark two weeks yesterday. No smoking and I feel good about that.

So on to the explanation of my title for the day. I am flying to Richmond, VA tomorrow for work. I decided I would check-in online so I don't have to go to the ticket counter tomorrow at 5 o'clock in the morning because I won't be checking a bag. So I grab my itinerary and go to continental.com. I enter in my "airline confirmation" listed on the itinerary and get an error message. Okay, I entered it wrong....let's try this again. No dice! Fine stupid computer....I will try the eticket number (enter buzzer sound)........wrong again. Okay....what the heck is going on. I check the numbers again and try both the confirmation and eticket numbers several more times to no avail. At this point, I'm starting to get a little worried that the company travel agent has failed to book me on these flights and that they are just showing up on my itinerary by chance (I dunno). I decide it's time to call the 1-800 number for continental.com support, because surely there must be something going on with the website. So I call and get a live person right away (shocking, I know). This lady is super nice and asks me what she can help me with. I explain my dilemma to her and give her the various numbers. We then get into a back and forth about my destination, whether it's a non-stop flight, what city I am departing from, and what my flight numbers are. As I'm perusing my itinerary for this information, I look down and notice that there is a 'UA' before all of my flight numbers. I think "what in the world does that even mean and why does everything have to be so freakin' difficult at 7 o'clock in the morning"? Then as I scan the rest of the page, the words 'United Airlines' hits me like a ton of bricks. Apparently this has rendered me speechless because the nice lady on the phone has just informed me that she cannot find me in the system anywhere on any flights leaving tomorrow and I have nothing to say to that. I am startled back to life by her voice saying "Mrs. Stewart?....Mrs. Stewart?"
At this point, all I can do is laugh at myself and tell the nice lady on the phone what a bumbling idiot I am. Thankfully she thought I was just simply hilarious and is probably telling all of her co-workers about the moron that called her this morning.

So anyway, I guess my head is a little slow getting out of bed this morning. But no worries, my travel plans are intact. At least I called some stranger at Continental instead of our travel agent, who I will undoubtedly have contact with in the future. Now that would have been embarrassing.

Here's to pulling my head out of my rear!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day 14 - Good Weekend

So at the end of today I will be smoke free for 2 weeks. That's so awesome!

One thing that has been driving me crazy all weekend is still the fact that it seems like my life revolves around "not smoking". I know that someday it will not take a conscious effort to fight off the urge for a cigarette, because it gets easier each day. But for the time being, it truly is annoying.

I don't really have much to say here. I had a great Mother's Day weekend spending time with family and riding my bike. Nothing much out of the ordinary happened, so it was a good weekend. I have a business trip coming up this week and will be getting really busy at work.

This morning, I almost cried when I dropped little man off before work. It's silly, I know. I haven't felt like crying over that in probably a year. Sometimes I just wish I was independently wealthy and could stay home until my child is in school. HA!

Here's to two more weeks!

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day 11 - Looking Forward

I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming summer activities and how hard it will be to not have my nasty little friend with me (no I'm not talking about you honey). Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier to quit in the winter time since I've never smoked in my house. Oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Unless you're talking about smoking, and if for some reason that doesn't contribute to your death, it certainly does not make you stronger in life. Okay, I'm rambling now. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though I feel this getting easier with each passing day, I still look to the future and think "I won't be able to have a cigarette at the lake while camping" (a big trigger because there's nothing else to do). But I've come to realize that that's okay. My grandma has told me and several others in my family that you never quite get past the "want" to have a cigarette. And she would know. She's been quit for over 40 years now (I think.....a long time anyway). That statement truly bothers me. I mean, seriously, I'm going to be thinking about the fact that I can't have a cigarette when I'm 70? That truly stinks. But you know what.........I will be alive when I'm 70.......and that's all that matters.

In other news, I'm up a half pound this week, so I erased my miniscule weight loss from last week. I can deal with that! I'm going to be as big as a house again when we decide to have another baby anyway =)........kidding honey! I'm going to just have to work harder at this weight loss thing to get down to my goal weight before getting pregnant again. I'm sure the french fries, chicken tenders, and cheesy broccoli casserole I had at Cheddar's last night didn't help matters for my weigh-in this morning. But it sure was good!

Here's to the future!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day Ten....Dreaming

Yep, it's day ten. One of my favorite numbers!

So last night I had a dream that I was in the car (this should come as no shock) and I reached down to my cup holder to grab my bottle of water. What I came up with instead was a brand new shiny pack of Marlboro's! OMG! No way. Look at this beautiful thing I have here. Hmmmm, what shall I do with it? Well first I'll open it. My hands started to work on that task while simultaneously driving (I have no idea where I was going). My brain, however, was saying "what are you doing? You don't even want a cigarette! This is the first time you've even seen one in 10 days and look at what you're about to do." - My dream brain is apparently very intelligent, just like in real life. =)

I very quickly cracked the window and tossed those suckers into the ditch where they belong. A more environmentally friendly dream would have been to pull into the nearest gas station and toss them in the garbage, but hey, a girl's got to do what a girl's go to do to resist temptation. Maybe tonight I'll dream and driving back to that spot and picking them up to throw them away properly.

Here's to avoiding temptation, even if it is just a dream.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day Nine.....Still hating the car

Have I mentioned yet that I hate being in the car?

I have?

Like sixteen times?

Okay, sorry. I can't promise that I won't mention it again, but you just never know!

Today I have some insight to share into the whole "I need to smoke because I'm stressed out" mantra. Many of you who know me can attest to the fact that I'm pretty much wound like a three day clock. This has been true most of my life for whatever reason. It's something I should probably be involved in a 12-step program for with meetings and everything, but only one life altering event at a time, please!

Anyway, I used to think that smoking a cigarette would help calm me down when I would get stressed or a little irritable. Boy was I wrong. I haven't smoked in nine days (yay for me), and I still get stressed and irritable just as much as before. You would think that if cigarettes helped keep stress out of your life, that your stress level would go up after quitting (sorry I'm getting all scientific here). But that hasn't been the case with me. My stress level has stayed the same (and I really need to try and reduce some of that little nuisance - that can be my next big project).

I guess what I'm saying to those of you who are considering quitting or are in the process of quitting is this:

I know how you feel and understand completely, but cigarettes DO NOT take the stress out of your life. Nor will your life become more stressful after you quit smoking. The same stressors were there before you quit. As a matter of fact, you should have one less thing to be stressed out about. You don't have to worry that you're damaging your body everyday by smoking. Big load off my mind!

Here's to less stress!

God Bless,
The Quitter.

What?

Okay, so to explain this post I have to do a little background on Chantix. When you get your prescription, you get access to their online program called "Get Quit". It's pretty cool because you sign in every day and they say some little blurb about how amazing you are and then they tell you how many days you've been a non-smoker and how much money you've saved based on the amount you used to spend on a pack of cigarettes and how many cigarettes you used to smoke each day.

Wow....I guess all that wasn't really necessary, but I'm not going back to delete it, sorry.

Anyway, I just logged in for the day and today's blurb was about changes in your body. There have been a few blurbs on physical changes already, but the previous ones were things that I already knew about. This I never considered.

Basically everyone knows that there are lots of chemicals in cigarette smoke (about 4,000 different agents in the average puff.....ONE PUFF)! One of these chemicals is carbon monoxide (which I already knew). What I didn't know is as follows (taken from chantix website):

'Carbon monoxide invades the bloodstream and takes up room that should be filled by oxygen. So less oxygen gets through to the muscles. As a consequence, smokers feel tired, they have less energy, and they can have an oxygen deficiency. The muscles need more oxygen, but the blood simply can't carry as much. '

Seriously? I used to have less energy because of something that I could have prevented? What a waste of time it was to smoke. Nothing good can come of it and I'm getting mad at myself right now for it. I know that's not going to help......but it's so frustrating.

Here's to normal energy levels!

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day Eight

Well I made it through day seven with no problems. One whole successful week down....lots more to go. =)

It's funny when I stop to think about when smoking a cigarette crosses my mind and makes things difficult. Like on Sunday after we got home from our bike ride, I started dinner and then got in the shower. As I was in the closet getting dressed, I was thinking to myself...."self, you're going to go check on dinner and then step outside and have a cigarette." It was just automatic for my brain to go there. The good thing is that once my brain went there, it was also automatic for my commen sense to tell my brain to shut-up and go check on dinner without having the cigarette. After that, I didn't think about smoking for the rest of the day.

Here's to common sense.

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day Seven......Seriously?

Has it already been a week, really? WOW! That went by surprisingly fast.

It's great to meet my first mini-milestone. At the end of today, I will have been smoke free for one whole week. That's awesome.

I feel like I'm sleeping much better than a week ago. It's hard to pinpoint the cause because I go through spurts of horrible sleep and then good sleep. But this is better than the usual 'good', so it might be attributed to quitting smoking.....not sure yet. What's funny about this is that one side effect of quitting smoking is 'interrupted sleep patterns'. =) Maybe quitting smoking is interrupting my bad sleep patterns and making them good again. That would be sweet.

In other news, I had ice cream three times last week. Not so good, but I got all my workouts in as well. That's the first time I've gotten all my weekly workouts in since right after Christmas!

Have I mentioned that I loathe being in the car?

Here's to another successful week.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day Five...I'm Still Alive

Sorry about the rhyming thing I've got going on.....it just sort of happened.

Well quitting smoking hasn't killed me. Today was my first weekend day of the quit, as I started on Tuesday, April 28th. We kept pretty busy, so that helped. The rain wasn't much of a mood booster though. It can stop at any time, really!

Still no awful side effects from the Chantix. Just some really mild upset stomach and a few headaches. As long as I wait until about an hour after I eat breakfast and dinner to take my pill, the upset stomach doesn't rear its ugly head. The headaches were pretty constant during the first week, but I haven't had any this week so far.

I still haven't touched a cigarette. Five whole days. Yay for me!

My chest and lungs feel extremely tight........but that's from the upper respiratory crap I still have. Will it ever end? Seriously!

So something cool happened today. I went to get my eyebrows waxed because I was sick of the caterpillars that had taken up residence on my face. Anyway, I've been having the same girl wax my eyebrows for the past 2 years now. But today.....I noticed something new. Her hands smelled like stale cigarette smoke (yuck)! I thought to myself....."self, that's kind of weird, she must have started smoking". Then it dawned on me......she probably always smoked, but since I don't smell like cigarettes anymore, I could totally smell it on her hands. I know, brilliant deduction, right? Pretty cool all the same. My hands won't ever smell like that again.

Okay, I'm done rambling until tomorrow.

Happy quitting.

God Bless,
The Quitter

Day Four.......Bring on Some More

Day three went well. Just like days one and two, I had the hardest time once I was in the car. Oh well......it will get easier. We took little man on a family bike ride last night. That was fun! The rain actually cleared out long enough to go outside.....it was a miracle!


In other news, I actually dropped a 1/2 pound this week. I really wasn't expecting that. I had geared myself up for a good 2 pound weight gain for my first week, but I guess not. Yay for me. We'll see what next week shall bring.


I don't want to get cocky here, but I do have to say that this is going suprisingly well. I guess I'm saying that while this is difficult to do, it's much easier than I thought it would be. I haven't bitten anyone's head off or tried to run my car off of a bridge. =) Seriously though, it is going much better than I ever expected. Maybe it's due to the Chantix, maybe not. Only time will tell.

Here are a few of the improvements in my body since I quit smoking:

-My blood pressure has decreased

-My resting pulse rate has dropped

-The temperature of my hands and feet has increased (Dad.....you'll enjoy this one when Mom quits smoking!)

-The carbon monoxide level in my blood has dropped to normal and the oxygen level in my blood has increased to normal

-My chance of a heart attack has decreased

-My nerve endings have started to regrow

-My ability to taste and smell has been enhanced (I'm not sure if I like this one so much......everything just tastes funny)

Here's to more positive side effects of quitting smoking!

God Bless,

The Quitter

Day Three and Still Smoke Free

So I made it through day two. I would be lying if I said that I didn't have any trouble. It wasn't anything I couldn't get through, but it wasn't easy either. Day one was definitely the easier of the two for some reason. I know that the longer I last, the easier it will get. I just hate the fact that for the time being, it seems like my entire existence is about not smoking. It's not consuming my every thought of course, but I do think about it. Especially in the car. The freakin' car!!!!!! Okay, it's time for me to invent that teleporter I've been meaning to design. That would solve two problems......1) I wouldn't have to be in the dang car so much....and 2) I could quit my job and be with my son because I'd be rich. =)

I'm sure that a lot of my "blah" mood has to do with still having this lingering sinus infection. The symptoms aren't as bad this week, but they're still there.

And when I got done with yoga last night I was ready to watch some Rangers baseball. When I turned on the TV and saw the rain delay, I thought I was going to burst out in tears. Ridiculous!

But I made it through.

I vow to make today a better day than yesterday.

God Bless,
The Quitter.

Day Two and Still Going Strong

I made it through the first day without smoking! I knew I could do it deep down, but there's always that nagging voice telling you "it's not going to be easy". But it was! The only time I even had the slightest desire to smoke was in the car before and after work. Once I got home, I went for a bike ride, ate dinner, and put the munchkin to bed. After that, I just wanted to go to sleep. No problems! Although my lack of desire for a cigarette might be attributed to the fact that I probably ate 800 calories worth of Skittles yesterday. I brought crackers to work today. I'm thinking that's probably going to be a little better on the weight loss front. And as far as gaining weight is concerned, I can lose all that later. I'm not going to go off the deep end and start chowing down on 2,500 cals/day or anything, but I'm also not going to drive myself crazy with quitting smoking and depriving myself of the occasional treat at the same time. The most important thing is that I'm not smoking.

According to my doctor, quitting smoking is the single most important thing you can do to improve your overall health! I'm all for simple solutions, so this is great.

Here's to better health.

God Bless,
The Quitter