Day 101 - I'd like to order a cake please

So I went to the new Reasor's in Jenks at lunch today to order J's birthday cake for his party next weekend. I just have to say that the new store is amazing. I will be tempted this Saturday to drive to Jenks to do my grocery shopping rather then walk through the stank-infested ghetto that is my local Wal-Mart.

Anywho........so the store is super nice, but the bakery witch left a bit to be desired as she zoomed in on her broom to take my order. Let me set the scene for you here - it's calm and quiet in the bakery department around 11:45 a.m. in Jenks, America........there is not a line at the counter (in fact I'm the only one within 100 feet).....soft music is playing overhead and there is a smile on my pretty little customer face. Now here is the dialogue:

Me: "I'd like to order a Backyardigans birthday cake"

Bakery Witch (BW): (Grabbing a pen and pad of paper) "Name?"

Me: "Mine or my son's?"

BW: "Why would I want your son's name?"

Me: (Looking slightly taken aback I'm sure) - "Well the cake is for him and I just wasn't sure if you were asking for my name for the order or his name for the cake."

BW: (Zero personality) "Yours"

Me: (I gave her my name)

BW: "What size cake?"

Me: "How many will a half sheet feed?"

BW: (Looking exasperated that I don't already know this and put out by the fact that she has to dig under the counter and consult a cheat sheet) "35-40".

Me: "Perfect, I'll do a half sheet"

BW: "Flavor?"

Me: "Half chocolate, half white"

BW: (Pauses with the pen and looks at me) "That will cost an extra dollar"

Me: "Okay"

BW: "Do you still want to do both flavors?"

Me: "Yes please" (Really? I mean, I know I don't actually live in Jenks, but I can still afford to pay an extra dollar to get chocolate AND white cake for my son's birthday)

BW: "And what do you want it to say?"

Me: "Happy Birthday -------- (deleted for the sake of privacy)"

BW: "What day will you be picking it up?"

Me: "Saturday, August 15th"

BW: "Time?"

Me: "I'm really not sure yet" (I have not finalized my plans for that Saturday and due to the crazy nature of my weekends, I have no idea what time I will be able to venture into Jenks to pick up the cake - it might be mid-morning, mid-afternoon, or evening - I really don't know)

BW: (Dripping with sarcasm and hate-fullness) "I kind of need a time frame to have the cake ready"

Me: "Okay, just have it ready that Friday so it will definitely be ready for Saturday morning or afternoon"

BW: "So now you're picking it up on Friday?"

Me: "No, I won't pick it up until Saturday morning or afternoon"

BW: "I have to write down a time on this form, I can't just put down 'all day'."

Me: (Starting to realize that there truly are complete morons everywhere, even in Jenks) "Okay then, write on that form that I will pick it up Friday at 5 o'clock."

BW: (Sighing) "Okay, it will be ready Friday the 14th at 5 o'clock"

Me: "Thank you"


Geez! Was that so hard? Seriously!

God Bless,
The Quitter